You've probably experienced social anxiety at one time or another. Even though deep inside you know that the outcome of approaching a stranger is not going to matter 10 minutes later, you are still afraid of facing rejection.
Why?
Most scientific studies in this field leads us to believe that this is just a basic biological response. Evolution hasn't kept up with the development of the society we live in today. If you are a man; while thousands of years ago it might have been dangerous to approach the most beautiful female, due to the fact that the strongest man might come and just beat you up, that is not the fact today.
When you were a kid you'd probably just go up to other kids and almost instantly start playing as if you had been friends for a long time. Why is it no longer so? As our brains evolve we start letting what other people think influence us more because we don't want people to think less of us, laugh at us, or th
ink we're weird. We want to appear perfect and nice, and live in our own safe bubble within a confined social circle. Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to approach someone new when you're at a familiar place surrounded by familiar people? That's because you feel safe.
Society today values other factors than just being able to provide food and protection by being stronger, even though if you looking to find your soulmate to marry it's a clear advantage if you provide a stable
living condition, but if you are just looking for new friends or anything less than marriage and long-term commitment these factors are not going to matter.
If you approach someone you'd like to talk to for whatever reason, and they are just completely uninterested in what you have to say, so what? I certainly don't think they are going to beat you half to death for trying to talk to them. What people think about you doesn't matter at all, the only thing that
matters is how much you care about it. If someone laughs at you for doing something, why should you care if that action is what's right for you? Their opinion doesn't matter more than you let it.
Most people even appreciate people taking initiative to talk to them these days, and social interaction and building a network of acquaintances and friends are incredibly valuable however y
ou look at it. Perhaps talking to that guy sitting next to you on the bus is going to land you a job some time in the future? Go for it!
Why?
Most scientific studies in this field leads us to believe that this is just a basic biological response. Evolution hasn't kept up with the development of the society we live in today. If you are a man; while thousands of years ago it might have been dangerous to approach the most beautiful female, due to the fact that the strongest man might come and just beat you up, that is not the fact today.
When you were a kid you'd probably just go up to other kids and almost instantly start playing as if you had been friends for a long time. Why is it no longer so? As our brains evolve we start letting what other people think influence us more because we don't want people to think less of us, laugh at us, or th
ink we're weird. We want to appear perfect and nice, and live in our own safe bubble within a confined social circle. Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to approach someone new when you're at a familiar place surrounded by familiar people? That's because you feel safe.
Society today values other factors than just being able to provide food and protection by being stronger, even though if you looking to find your soulmate to marry it's a clear advantage if you provide a stable
living condition, but if you are just looking for new friends or anything less than marriage and long-term commitment these factors are not going to matter.
If you approach someone you'd like to talk to for whatever reason, and they are just completely uninterested in what you have to say, so what? I certainly don't think they are going to beat you half to death for trying to talk to them. What people think about you doesn't matter at all, the only thing that
matters is how much you care about it. If someone laughs at you for doing something, why should you care if that action is what's right for you? Their opinion doesn't matter more than you let it.
Most people even appreciate people taking initiative to talk to them these days, and social interaction and building a network of acquaintances and friends are incredibly valuable however y
ou look at it. Perhaps talking to that guy sitting next to you on the bus is going to land you a job some time in the future? Go for it!
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